You know that Walt Disney bloke? Yeah, him that done all them cartoons and that? Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse. Aye, well they found his body the other day all thawed out. It's true, this mate of mine whose brother works for Blockbuster told me. He should know, Blockbuster you see, they've got deals with Disney to get the films off them.

On 5th December 2005 a law was introduced in Britain to allow same sex couples to enter into a civil partnership akin to marriage. You couldn't make it up could you? It's political correctness gone mad. If the government had its way then we'd all be gay. Well I can tell you for one, I won't be forced into marrying another man. And they can throw me in prison for it.

What exactly is the left hand lane on a motorway for? Lorries? Slow people? Only to be used 500m (or less) from desired exit junction? Or is there something designed into cars, particularly BMWs and Mercedes, that causes them to self-destruct if they spend too long in these lanes?